Anger is a huge issue. Whether it’s in the past or in the present we can find numerous examples of how anger, along with other negative emotions such as hate, envy, or revenge, can lead to devastating actions.
"In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you're still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." - Ephesians 4:26-27 ( NIV)
Let's take a quick look at these two verses. We can clearly see that remaining angry is definitely not a good thing. Anger is an intense emotion that can give the enemy a foothold in our lives if we do not control it. First, we are warned not to let our anger lead us into sin. The next verse tries to help us to stay away from sin by advising us to not go to bed angry. This means to resolve the issue that is making you angry as quickly as possible. If you can resolve the issue before you sleep DO IT! The longer you remain angry the more tempted you are to fall into sin and the higher chance the enemy can find a way into your life.
Here are a few tips that can help to control your anger when you feel that it is too much to handle.
1. Notice your emotions
First it is very important that you start to recognize when you are feeling this intense emotion. The reason why is because you will begin to see the warning signs before you reach that uncontrollable level of anger. You can start to see changes happening in your body language, words, and actions. Your body may start to tense up from the back of your neck and upper back and up to your head. You may start to feel a headache due to your blood pressure rising. Your hands may begin to tremble and your heart will beat faster. As for your words nothing good comes to your mind, instead you begin to say things you didn’t mean. Words that are negative, hurtful, and later on regrettable.
Now begin to notice your actions, you may stomp your feet, slam doors, run off, or begin to speak loudly. Basically, you will feel yourself turning into a dragon ready to spit out fire. The people may even begin to notice the smoke coming out of your ears! GREAT! You now see what anger can do to you, turn you into someone you’re not. So now that we notice what the warning signs are, how do we stop anger from getting out of control? Let's go to the next step.
2. Breathe
As you begin to see your body change, the next thing to do is to breathe. Yes breathe! As you become angry you may even forget to breathe. So breath in and out slowly and deeply and start to think of positive thoughts. Do what you can to put yourself in a more positive position as you are breathing. Breathe in and out at least 10 times deeply and say to yourself "Its going to be okay," "keep it cool", or "I'm relaxed." Don’t talk yet, don’t react, just breath. Take a walk say some verses do whatever you must to remain calm without saying anything to anyone or taking any actions. After you are decently calm move on to the next step.
3. Ask yourself why you really feel this way
Now we have reached a point where we must find the real reason we are angry. Now, the point of this exercise is to make sure that you are being reasonable, ask yourself if it is reasonable or if it is an overreaction. Sometimes we can get angry at the current situation but the real anger is actually deeper.
For example, lets say the milk is expired in the fridge, you get incredibly angry and start yelling at your spouse. Your spouse is confused at where the anger is coming from all the sudden just for some milk. But the real issue is not that the milk was expired. The true anger is that it was the fifth time you reminded your soouse to clean the fridge, and you feel that you are the only one doing work in the home. The expired milk seemed to be the last straw for you and you exploded in Anger.
When we search within ourselves for the real answer, this can help us gain some control over the situation. There are other examples of when you can be angry at that very moment. Such as if someone disappoints you, hurts your feelings, or doesn't meet your expectations. You can also become angry if someone steals your belongings or spreads lies about you. And let's be clear it is not a sin to be angry. However, it is anger that can ultimately lead you to sin. When you even begin to think about doing something negative to someone or plot something as part of revenge because of your pain you have already sinned. What we need to do is avoid letting that hurt and pain feed our anger. Because if that happens our thoughts might become actions. This is exactly where the enemy gets a foothold in our lives. If we can just ask what is making us angry it will help us find the true root of the issue so that it can be solved.
4. Pray!
The next step is to ask God to help you gain control through prayer. If we take a look at the verse below
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23 ( NIV)
It tells us that one of the fruits of the Spirit includes self-control. This is something you have to work at. You will first begin to see that the after your anger subsides, you feel guilty for the way you reacted towards others. You will feel terrible that you couldn't control yourself. But once we ask God to fill us with the fruit of self control we will be able to stop anger from leading us to regrettable mistakes.
5. Face it!
The last step is to face what was making you angry but now with a renewed calm and a clear mind. We need to face what makes us upset so it will no longer cause us to be angry. Most times when we become angry it is because we don’t know the full story. Perhaps someone didn’t steal something from you but maybe it was all a misunderstanding. Perhaps the person didn’t mean to hurt you and when you confront them you realize they had alot on their mind and ignored you by accident. I know not all situations are like this, but instead of assuming it is important for us to know the facts and from there solve the issues.
In otherwords, Don’t let anything or anyone control your emotions don’t let anyone’s one word ruin your entire day. Don’t let an action make you forget all the good that God has done in your life. It can lead you to do something unreasonable, regrettable. And when the anger clears you will see that you should not have never taken it that far. Lets end it from happening right now! Do not let the sun go down when you are angry!
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